How to Regulate Your Nervous System: Expanding Your Window of Tolerance
Written by Tim Bonaldi and Katherine Bonaldi (In Bloom Psychology)
What does a regulated nervous system look like?
When we are able to regulate our emotions, we may notice being in the “window of tolerance”. This means we have the capacity to tolerate our emotions and allow for self-awareness, clear thinking, and the ability to respond rather than react to life. People may notice they feel more secure and open to connection.
What is a dysregulated nervous system:
People may feel dysregulated when their sympathetic nervous system is overactivated. This can be referred to as hyperarousal. People in this state may feel anxious, on edge, angry, avoidant, or defensive. There may be muscle tension, increased heart rate, shortness of breath, and nausea. People may notice their mind racing and alertness to possible danger. This reaction has evolved to help us to take action in situations that are threating, however it is not helpful when we are not in immediate danger.
Alternatively, people may notice dysregulation in the form of what is called; dorsal vagal state, otherwise known as hypoarousal. You may experience exhaustion, detachment from emotions, body, or environment, feel flat and empty with no motivation, or lost and disconnected. This state may lead to an urge to freeze or fawn. This state of mind evolved to be protective under high threat, for example in cave people times, if people “played dead” or submitted if they could not run or fight, this may have prevented worse danger. However, freeze or fawn is not so helpful when there is not high threat.
Experiencing chronic nervous system regulation can worsen mental health and chronic health conditions, while making it difficult to recover.
What contributes to a dysregulated nervous system:
You may be more vulnerable to a dysregulated nervous system if you have experienced adverse childhood events. These events may include more obvious forms of trauma like physical abuse, sexual abuse or neglect. However, these events can also include vicarious trauma of witnessing abuse to another person, or having a family member attempt suicide or end their like by suicide. Adverse childhood events may include situations that threaten a child’s sense of safety, and include growing up in a household where family members or carers are abusing substances, have their own severe mental health challenges, or there is parental absence.
Trauma in later life can also negatively impact the nervous system. Chronic life stress can also play a part, whether it is related to work, being a carer, relationship strain, loneliness, and health or life transitions.
How to expand your window of tolerance:
If you notice you are dysregulated, it does not mean this will be a permanent state. There are ways to learn how to expand your window of tolerance so this begins to become your more natural state. It is possible to learn self-soothing and reconnect to your body in a healthy way. Processing trauma, adverse life events, or current stress can be helpful in allowing your mind and body to feel more at peace.
If you are interested in learning ways to support your nervous system and work towards healing, please contact Tim or Katherine at In Bloom Psychology.
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